Donald Trump beats Hillary Clinton, but only on Pornhub
Pornhub is a treasure trove of many things traditionally un-pornlike.
Take for instance its recent insight into how Americans love to watch Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton porn - a concept which, if anything, could be considered anti-porn. Still, apparently the US population really, really engages with their democratic system, beyond good old fashioned voting.
What's more interesting than the porn category in itself though, is how it's reflective of each candidate's popularity. And, at least in this presidential race, Trump is indisputably ahead.
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'Trump' has been searched 144% more than 'Clinton' on Pornhub. While this could be seen as a case of Melania vs Bill, most videos feature lookalikes of the presidential candidates.
The search results mostly comprise porn parodies, along with some so-called 'leaked footage'. There are also some video clips from popular TV interviews, especially in the case of Trump. We're not sure why people are watching Trump interviews on Pornhub, and we're not sure we want to know either.
In one of the painfully boring porn parodies, fake Trump can be heard saying, "I'll build a wall around Mexico. And drill a large glory hole through it." If that's what makes America masturbate, the future doesn't look too bright regardless of who comes to power in November.
It's all in the numbers
Of the total searches, Pornhub found that 1704% women and 118% men prefer Trump to Clinton. But weirdly, especially considering the conservative values of Trump's supporters, men are more likely to spank it to Trump doing the deed than women. 556% more likely.
As opposed to this, only 26% of women are likely to search for Trump unlike their Donald-loving male counterparts.
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Comparing the two sets of gendered porn-watching, we can safely conclude that women really don't like Clinton. At least not in bed. American men on the other hand, seem to really like Trump porn and one can hope it isn't reflective of their voting choices.
Speaking of voting, Pornhub has meticulously divided the data according to region. And it sure looks like Hawaii loves the wrong kind of Trump tower..
Hawaiian Pornhub visitors are 327% more likely to search for Trump rather than Clinton. A close second is California with 247% more searches for Trump than Hillary.
While on the whole the Trump fandom seems worrying, Pornhub's state-wise break-up is indicative of a certain trend: If you hate the candidate, you look them up more.
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While Clinton is more popular in conservative Republican states like Wyoming, South Dakota, West Virginia, New Hampshire and Ohio, Trump is more often searched in the Democrat bastions like Connecticut, New Jersey, Maryland, Delaware and Massachusetts.
So maybe there's some hope left for Trump to lose after all?
Recently, there were a whole bunch of news reports based on Pornhub data about how certain searches went up during the Republican National Convention. While that serves as a joke about where conservatives take out their frustration, it is also telling of how strangely porn is tied to American politics.
Sarah Palin, despite her absence from the political scene, has not left the imagination of the politics and porn-loving American. She continues to thrive on Pornhub, now occasionally in a threesome with Trump and Melania.
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That being said, Palin parodies don't cut it close to the news-based popularity some other political ladies enjoy. Both Michelle Obama and Melania Trump saw spikes in their Pornhub meters thanks to their presence on Google News. Speeches do it for some, apparently.
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Post Michelle's cracker of a speech at the DNC where she threw some classy shade at Trump, porn searches for 'Michelle' went up by 441% across America. There's some true patriotism.
Melania, after her speech-stealing debacle at RNC, saw a 1477% hike in searches for her. But then again, she got a 2019% increase in search results post 'Melania nude photo' leak. These Trumps I tell you.